Girl In Gold Boots/Review

When the Roger Ebert written, Russ Meyer directed, 1970 camp classic BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS, appeared I wondered if its inspiration had really been Ted V. Mikels' goofy 1968 film, GIRL IN GOLD BOOTS. Even though Jacqueline Susan sued the Russ Meyer production (and lost), the film had little relation to VALLEY OF THE DOLLS except for its title. It more closely resembled BOOTS. 1995's SHOWGIRLS for all of its excess and budgets has a similar plot and dialogue nearly as goofy though not quite as much fun as THE GIRL IN GOLD BOOTS (which was made for less than $50,000).

Those Boots were made for walkin' and that's just what they do in my favorite Ted V. Mikels movie. How can a film that has no gore, no nudity, several bad rock and roll pop songs (to put it mildly), un-even acting, goofy dialogue, and an absurd story-line, be better than Mikels' ASTRO-ZOMBIES, THE CORPSE GRINDERS or THE DOLL SQUAD? Perhaps I have been hypnotized --implanted with a chip that forces me to like BOOTS more than I should--I don't know. Perhaps Mikels' foot and shoe fetish somehow translated into a great movie with The Girl in Gold Boots (okay probably not... but I try to explain this with some sort of logic...).

In BOOTS, Mikels delivers to us, the Show Business Expose-that's where the naïve good girl goes to the big bad city seeking fame and fortune. In this case it's not about a small-time farmer's daughter trying to be a movie or pop-star or even a famous model-it's about a girl who dreams of being a go-go dancer in a night club.

Our kitsch classic begins with a credit sequence that looks like a really cheap version of what they might do under the credits of James Bond movie. Go Go Dancers are groovin' to a song that is supposed to be really groovy-but is pretty AWFUL. The outfits switch from mini-dresses to bikinis and back to mini-dress outfits again. The lead dancer has on gold, rather than silver boots and she does this hop/jump down to the main part of the stage so she's beside a half dozen other dancers as her big dance move. Oh and the stage kind of resembles a big fire-breathing dragon's head from a really cheap early 60's Italian Hercules movies. You might notice when you watch the film for a second or third time or while listening to the commentary track that the lead dancer for the credit sequence is not the star of the film, nor one of the other main characters we later meet. Who is she? Ah! welcome to the world of minuscule budgeted genre films.

We first meet Michele (Leslie McRae) working as a waitress in a tiny desert town diner called: EAT. She's dancing to an awful song on the juke-box when Buzz (Tom Pace) enters the diner with the intention of robbing the joint. We know this because as he gets out of his car, cigarette dangling from his lips, leather jacket, and dark sunglasses, he checks the gun he has shoved down the waistband of his pants. Tom Pace doesn't seem to have a truly menacing bone in his body and right from the start we aren't convinced he's a bad guy at all. Oh but he keeps trying to convince us. After watching Michele dance for a moment, Buzz seems to be working up his nerve to pull out his gun and rob the place. Just as he's about to make his move, a truck pulls into the parking lot outside and a family enters. Along with the family is CRITTER (Jody Daniels) a guitar totin' drifter type, who Michele finds charming and strange. He makes a few odd comments, tries to be witty and then pays a whole dollar for ten Hershey bars. He has made a joke about paying for the candy bars with a 50 or a 100 dollar bill and seems to have a lot of money in his wallet. Buzz notices this, but before he can do anything about it, Critter is leaving. A few minutes later, Buzz is again ready to rob the diner, but he notices the local police is nearby hoping to trap some speeders on the highway by the Diner. Buzz takes the opportunity to tell Michele that he would be more than willing to take her to Hollywood with him and get her an audition as a dancer in the club where his sister Joan works. Michele has dreamed of being a dancer in Hollywood but she's thinking Buzz is probably a con artist. Buz proves he's legit by showing Michelle a picture of his sister that he has in his wallet. She's almost convinced, but she just can't leave the old Diner. That's about the time we meet Michele's very mean alcoholic father. He slaps Michele and that's enough for Michele to decide she's going to Hollywood with Buz to make her dreams come true. As they leave the diner, Buzz tells her he'll need some gas money and she should take some money from the cash register for their trip.

Michele's a pretty girl and Buzz isn't a bad looking guy. They stop for a few groceries and get hassled a bit by some bikers. Buzz keeps his cool at first, but on his way out of the store he pours a beer all over the bikes. What a nasty dude, huh? You know this will lead to a confrontation later on , right? They also wind up picking up Critter whose motorcycle has broken down. Buzz is thinking of the wad of cash he believes Critter has in his wallet. It turns out he doesn't have much money at all, most of the cash in his wallet is worthless foreign currency from when he worked for the Peace Corps. Michele it turns out only took a few dollars from the cash register at the roadside diner and Buzz isn't too happy they are almost broke and may not have enough money to make it to Hollywood. Naturally there's also a love triangle going on and after a bit of Dune Buggy riding (where they got the money to rent Dune Buggies is anyone's guess) Critter starts to make out with Michele which leads to some fisticuffs. But Critter quickly backs down and explains he isn't a threat to Buzz and means no harm. Why? Ah.. he has a secret (no the secret is not that he's gay and if you want to know what it is well, you'll just have to see the movie for yourself).

Eventually Buzz and Michele and yes Critter get to Hollywood. We are treated to some fabulous shots of various famous spots in Hollywood and on the Sunset Strip (circa 1967) including DINO'S LODGE, The Playboy Club featuring Don Addams, and the Cinerama Dome with CAMELOT on it's marque'. Eventually we get to the once famous Haunted House Night Club on Hollywood Blvd. It was a real Hollywood hot spot for several years and thanks to Mikels its tackiness is preserved on film forever. It turns out that Buz's sister Joan (Bara Byrnes) really is the lead go-go dancer of the place and Michelle gets an immediate audition. The club's owner Leo (Mark Heron) and his trusty side-kick Marty (played by William Bagdad) immediately take a liking to Michele. She's hired.

Bagdad has more oil on his hair than Jerry Lewis circa 1965 and every so often he twitches and contorts his face stealing every scene he appears in. You just don't see too many guys that look like Bagdad does in this film and it's hard to take your eyes off of him (he was also memorable playing John Caradine's assistant Franchot in ASTRO-ZOMBIES and Joseph in THE DOLL SQUAD). Leslie MacRea (sometimes MacRay) worked with Bagdad again in Mikels' 1973 epic BLOOD ORGY OF THE SHE DEVILS (which despite the title had very little gore and no nudity) and she played Cinderella in DEATH RACE 2000 and Cindy in COFFY (the Jack Hill/Pam Grier classic).

There's a whole lot more to BOOTS (really!) and besides the expected trials and tribulations of Michelle trying to be a famous headlining Go Go Dancer it has sub-plots that involve drug dealing, prostitution, a love story and don't forget-Critter's secret. Somehow all of this is done in the most wholesome manner you could imagine which is why the film is rated G !!! There's also some truly off-the-wall touches sprinkled throughout the film (like when a mysterious fellow whips out a huge device that takes up half the trunk in his car to try and listen in on a conversation occurring less than a half block away or when Buzz suddenly takes off on foot leading to a foot-chase through various Hollywood locations, when he could have jumped into his car). There are also 17 songs in this movie. I doubt you'll remember a single one of them and most of them are fairly innocuous. There is a painful love ballad, and a couple of other songs that might test your patience, resolve or funny bone. Be prepared; for it is part of the many (cough cough) charms of this film. Often the songs are playing for the Go-Go Dancers to strut their stuff to or as background music--. thankfully only a few of them are featured.

GIRL IN GOLD BOOTS plays in part like a 50s melodrama that should have starred Susan Hayward but instead has been awkwardly updated and shot in the 1960s. Instead of featuring hippies, freaks, draft dodgers, drug dealers and mobsters however we get beatniks, bobbysoxers, greasers and low rent motorcycle gang members. There's something utterly charming about it.

Reviewed by Count Graf Orlock